E3 2011 - The Predictions and Retrospects

E3, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, or, for more effect you could try pronouncing it “eeeeeeeeeee”, a sound akin to the one you might make as you’re falling down a well.

The land of booth babes, sweaty dudes, and people making fools of themselves on dance software. The event, most probably the biggest in the industry, is taking place in the city of angels, L.A. Over the next several days, we’ll see both the big hitters and the smaller companies in the games and entertainment realm.

Last year we were privy to Microsoft’s ‘Kinect’, and with this, we saw such delightful acts as a guy kicking the crap out of rogue balls of flying paint. Interesting note, this was supposed to be a game, wherein you, the protagonist went on a murderous rampage on a corrupt paint supplier after your lover was killed in a disaster in a mixing plant. Harrowing stuff.

As with most of the ‘fitness’ and ‘casual’ games that were the primary release for these devices, it didn’t really cut it anymore to have some portly executive try and demonstrate the finer points of these games without him having a stroke mid Pilates exhibition.

So, expect to see many ‘talking head’ professionals discussing the myriad benefits of these products to an audience somewhat distanced from the idea that games should be physically taxing on the body. This however, I suspect will extend far beyond simple fitness games, I wouldn’t be surprised to see military, musicians and other professionals outside of games expressing their love for numerous IP’s.

We also had the 3DS, which came with a free migraine in my case after I played with it for a while; I’m a big fan of added value. Though I won’t be forking out for it until something of worth in my eyes is released, not, I repeat NOT a rehash Nintendo.

Perhaps the biggest piece of news for this year’s event will be the unveiling of Nintendo’s new console. One can only wonder what it will be like, and there has been lots of speculation as to what the specifications will be. Will it be more powerful than the PS3 and 360? Will there be a large touchscreen? Will it be a full lycra bodysuit that runs on our dreams? It’s pure conjecture, however I’ll be interested in how they attempt to re-invent the wheel again. And you can bet that when it comes to presentation time all backsides will be glued to those uncomfortable plastic chairs.

You can’t help feeling an iota of sorrow for the executives at Sony and Microsoft upon hearing this. I imagine they were in a meeting with their respective devices when some lowly messenger boy enters and whispers the news to them in their ear. The president of the company then proceeded to bludgeon them with their devices like that scene in Casino where Joe Pesci wails on the guy with a baseball bat.

Examining the floor plan of the event, we’ve got all the big studios, EA, Sony, Microsoft etc, assaulting you on the way in like a troupe of burly men standing in a narrow corridor. Sure they’re going to have products that you want to see, but I think the real incentive here is to check out the less known companies on display. These booths are relegated to the outer limits of the exhibition halls, but I bet a few of them will have some interesting stuff on display. That’s where the trends are being set nowadays.

So, we know a little about who’s there and what will be probably the biggest device unveiling that’ll occur, well then, what about the games on show this year? Here’s my pick.

I’m certainly not disappointed, however I did get a sinking feeling while looking at the 10 most anticipated. Like the movies were a few years ago, this E3 is the year of ‘three-quels’. I mean, where’s the original IP’s? Are the companies intellectually bankrupt or are they just not giving these games the hype because it would pale in comparison to their more impressive titles? Shame on you.

The big boys in the shooter category are of course Modern Warfare 3 and Battlefield 3 and when you strip the HUD from them, the aesthetics are eerily similar. These games have now taken on the set-piece qualities of a Jerry Bruckheimer/ Michael Bay movie, where lots of things blow up and you walk away from explosions in slow-motion. My money this year however, is with BF3 due to the games ethos being somewhat purer and, more importantly if I play it online I’m not surrounded by ten-year olds quick scoping me.

We’ve also got the new Tomb Raider Begins-Origins-Inception which appears like a return to form. And let’s not forgot the new Uncharted with Drake his stupid hair and scarf, he looks like he should be running down a catwalk at some modeling event! I think the developers should set Lara and Drake up, like a treasure-hunting version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

One of my most anticipated this year is Skyrim, I’ve got great love for the Elder Scrolls games and they never disappoint. Everything in the trailer from the last game appears to have been taken up a notch, cities, characters, and hopefully that atrocious third person walking/running model, it looks like a drunken marionette being badly contorted.

Mass Effect 3, with Jesus H. Shepard though in the trailer we are in London with a decidedly different protagonist it seems. One of my favorite games of last year, totally blew away the first game and I hope they include 200% more alien intercourse sub-plots.

The rest being shown are ones that I’m not as enthused about, however your mileage may vary with my opinion on what I look forward to. Also MGS Rising is not going to be there, WTH?

So, will it be a great E3? Yeah, it will be, but I don’t think it’ll be the best, I believe 2012 will be in serious running for a great show because by then we’ll have more clarity on the next-gen consoles/systems and hopefully some shiny new IP’s.

And do not, under any circumstances, attempt to abduct a booth babe, it’s a real turnoff.