Lights, Camera, Press Start
Posted by
Nechrol
on
Act 1
In days of yore and Amiga’s a developer would break out the bubbly if their company sprung for some congratulatory office stationary at their games success. It’s not that sequels were particularly rare, just in that day that was the top of the tower. A mug with the games name on it was a close second.
As we hurtled toward the future games slowly broke into other mediums, such as the Mario Bros and Sonic cartoons to name but a few. These being the most prolific of crossover characters they also permeated into a number of other mediums. Namely books, stickers, videos, marital aids and plushy toys crazed fanboys/girls can rock back and forth with in a darkened room assessing their life choices. Incidentally the Nintendo Adventure Books Mario Bros., were a great read even though I cheated by checking the page I was ordered to go to. No matter how many steaming showers I take I can’t wash the guilt away.
One of the most successful mediums that a game can migrate into is feature films. It can potentially make millions as well increasing the games market saturation. This medium is probably only topped by merchandising which is made for practically nothing by some small child in a Chinese warehouse. FACT.
However, this is only available to games that have already proved they are a worldwide success; look at Street Fighter or this year’s Prince of Persia. Games are accepted as a valid reason to create a movie because they are established, the format has worked before. If you tried to pitch a film where a handful of steroid fuelled warriors banded together to shoot fireballs and back-flip a barrel-chested Nazi in red he’d probably bludgeon you with the script. But if you tell him it worked before then he might hold off wailing on you until the film is released and bombs.
Another game to film crossover that I have not-so-fond memories of was the Pokemon movie. I was sat in the cinema in front some idiot child that named every Pokemon that appeared on the screen. I wanted to suffocate him in my popcorn. Wherever you are I hope you’re glad you ruined my cinematic experience and hope you get flattened by a Snorlax.
The major factor when creating a film from a game is thinking how the studio (more than the writer) can reach maximum commerciality. Let us not forget that our average person not accustomed to video games would look at a movie that was made from a game and immediately screw up their face in disgust. Hurriedly followed by drinking a beer and playing some football or whatever it is the cool kids do these days. To be fair games over the years have risen in their credibility on consoles and the screen, the latter only marginally. Your average Joe even regards gaming as cool. This only extends as far as a few select titles. FPS’s if you’re a guy, namely Call of Duty or Halo. If you’re a woman or of an age slightly closer to the grave it’ll be a console more like the Wii or DS. Be warned Nintendo, I’d die a thousand deaths before they ever turn Animal Crossing into a feature.
To reach commerciality studios have a number of tricks up their sleeves and they’re all so very subtle.
Act 2
Throw boobs at it
This has been an epoch for a lot of game>movies, most notably Dead or Alive. Throw hot, scantily clad women and success will surely follow. In all honestly this was the truest element to the game as all women in it had such overly inflated mammaries that they all surely required back braces. I’m surprised the game was so responsive. Surely all the consoles CPU power was directed to the physics engine that powered their insane jiggling at the slightest move. It is proven that guys will go and see hot young things on the silver screen, look at Megan Fox or in my case Jessica Alba. If Hollywood produced a movie where she stood in a bikini for an hour and half periodically doused with water and shaken dry I’d watch it. It doesn’t make for the most compelling narrative and it’s just plain lazy.
Bland commercialism
By this I mean Hollywood tricks like Americanising characters ala Dragonball. Even though this was an anime first it also had game tie-ins but the principal is the same. They recruited an American cast and took out all of the epic charging moves. It was a series that should have either been taken under a Japanese studio or left untouched. Also, have a gander at the new Tekken movie, Jin looks like a kid who would look more at home taking angled pictures on a social networking site than in an iron fist tournament. They also throw in the ‘love interest’ to generate some depth to the character but I’ll reserve judgment until I see the thing. I owe Tekken that much.
Get a director that couldn’t direct a man to hit water if he pushed him off a boat
Case in point: Uwe Boll. I look at him like a pet that has brought you a dead bird, its hearts in the right place and you want to pick it up and shake its little head till a spark of sense gets through. It doesn’t understand no matter how much you scold it. All you can do is look into its eyes, shake your head and accept it with a defeated smile. You could argue that even though his films are bad at least he’s doing them, right? If by the third movie you haven’t got it right then I’d call it a day. It’s like me continually running into a brick wall in the hope I’ll knock it down. I won’t, rock beats skull every time. A bad director can turn a great concept or script into something more akin to a fanboy’s trailer filmed on his Iphone.
Act 3
It’s not all bad though there have been games that worked rather well as movies; you just have to trawl through all the bad. One I thought worked well was the Hitman movie. It had a solid entertaining script and everything else to boot. Instead of giving in to the ‘love interest’ they stayed true to the character. Agent 47 would rather blow the back of someone’s head off than make sweet love to some pilled-up model. I salute you.
It shows the potential for the film business to not look at games influenced by films like a child that attends ‘special’ classes at school. The great aspect of games to movies it that it can breathe originality into an industry that is blanketed by blandness. However, Hollywood‘s main concern is about making as much bang for their buck as possible. I’m afraid that net will catch most of the good concepts and turn it into grey mulch to appease the masses. The problem with taking a chance is that it can either be a success or hit you like a shoryuken to the face. But then it wouldn’t be called ‘taking a chance’ now would it?
Oh, another awesome movie was The Super Mario Bros. Never has a film with an overweight plumber resonated so deeply within my soul.
Fin