Super Comboman Review
You super-comboed my patience, man
I'm really starting to wonder whether there was some kind of internal dispute at Interabang Entertainment; a disagreement on whether Super Comboman was to be a goofy spectacle brawler or a tough-as-nails side-scroller, dividing the team into two warring factions who continued to work on the game even while desks were upturned and boxes of paper-clips were thrown. Then, when armistice was achieved and a compromise was reached, they merged their two disparate halves to the best of their ability. As already mentioned, the level design is decidedly sloppy for such an unforgiving game, but even in the gameplay mechanics this shines through. Take, for instance, the perk system, which grants you various buffs based on the length of your current combo. For the most part, it's well-implemented – I really like how you can prevent it from dropping by gratuitously smashing bits of the environment – but maintaining the combo pretty much demands that you recklessly dash through the level and hit enemies regardless of the circumstances, something that doesn't fly with the unforgiving combat. It certainly lends a combo-centric focus to the game, but any attempt to actually concentrate on it usually results on being battered by the blunt end of a demolition mattock. Oh wait, 'hardcore'. Never mind.
The perks themselves, along with Struggles' repertoire of special moves, are purchased in the game's store with coins earned in the levels. I suspect this was supposed to be a means of letting players tailor their perks to their playing style and buy the moves that interest them, but it falls flatter than a piece of inexpensive theatre scenery. In total there are a scant six perks to buy, two of which will be equipped at any time, and the special moves are similarly limited. Outside of the not-Shoryuken and not-Hadouken mentioned earlier, you can get Zangief's 'small child imitating a helicopter' attack, a fiddly and ineffectual dive-kick, and a few disinteresting moves that completely slip my mind. It feels like a massively missed opportunity to not have a more diverse, extensive selection available, one that could have perhaps been filled if the ceasefire at Interabang had been declared earlier. And in case you think that theory of mine is reading too much into things, consider this: by about a quarter of the way through the game, I had enough money to buy everything in the shop I wanted. By halfway, I had enough to buy everything, period. Right now, nearing the end of the game, I have enough to pay off Struggles' debilitating mortgage three times over, and maybe buy him a second-hand Toyota too if he's not too picky. Seriously, Struggles, let's forget about this stupid puzzle and just go home. It's as if somebody had balanced the shop system around a series of upgrades that were never implemented, possibly because the computer on which they were stored was destroyed by a stray barrage of paperweights.
The problem with criticising Super Comboman is that it's a game almost entirely made up of small, unique annoyances, and if I was given a chance to comprehensively cover all of them then this review would require several intermissions, or possibly some kind of episodic publishing model. I've tried to point fingers at the biggest offenders, but perhaps some attention ought to be afforded to the runner-ups. Honourable mentions, as it were. So let's crack our knuckles together menacingly for the repeating bug where you get stuck in the terrain, the long load times, the enemies with the instant-knockdown projectile attacks, the slightly-perplexing dialogue boxes – which are either poorly parodying the butchered English of old-school arcade brawlers or are just plain butchered English – the pointless sticker-collecting mechanic, the clunky menu interface, the palette-swapped mini-bosses, and the one boss who bugs out and starts fighting alongside his minions when he isn't supposed to. Phew, that feels better. I almost want to go back and subtract all the commas from that sentence, just to give it an air of being expelled in one breath.
It's not easy to give Super Comboman the big thumbs-down. Like its protagonist, it's an overwhelmingly earnest affair, packed with bright, upbeat visuals and brimming with a character, but all the earnestness in the world just can't make up for the fact that it's sloppier than a handful of regurgitated noodles. The few good ideas it has – represented in this analogy by, I don't know, half-digested lumps of chicken – could have perhaps made for an entertaining brawler if they hadn't been immersed in... well, that mental image speaks for itself. I'm just going to leave it in your head until you find something else to replace it.