RSS Feeds NGN on Facebook NGN on Twitter NGN on YouTube
Welcome, Guest. Login | Register | PW? ]
Header logo
Index » Articles » Editorials

The 2011 Video Games Retrospective

A look back at the previous year in interactive entertainment, with a twist

Posted by (Nechrol) on
Ed: Please note, this is an opinion piece. See New Game Network's official Game of the Year 2011 selections.

2011 was a big year, not that is was any longer than other years proceeding; it had the same amount of days, roughly 365, but events-wise. Dictatorships toppled, tsunamis devastated Japan, adding large-scale water features and stressing out Geiger counters of scientists.

However, enough about the ills of the world, too much exposure to mostly apathetic news coverage of how we're all going to die a horrible and painful death could cause us to bash our heads in with an old-school Xbox controller.
Lucky for us, we have entertaining distractions in the form of entertainment, and I've compiled a list of my own awards.

Most Depressing Game News of the Year
 
COD 3, or Call of Duty 3 if you happen to live under a rock, has sold over 9 million units to date. I include myself in those units as I bought the game, but looking back now, I can't help but stare at the case with almost suicidal despondency.
 
It represents the lowest common denominator of gamers, the Michael Bay of the games industry if you will. And as a franchise all we have to look forward to is the inevitable decline, milking the cash cow until all that remains is an emaciated carcass. The president of EA will sit atop his throne of angry twelve year olds while an employ dressed in a potato sack beats his fists against the cow's raw and bloody udders. It'll still sell though...

Winner: Angry Birds domination
 
Angry Birds officially crashed through the one million mark in the app store like a rotund canary rocketing through planks of brittle wood. This is what humanity has come to, and it won't be long until the religion of Angry Birds is recognized in the census. The 'Birdites' (its clergy) shall construct giant slingshots and fire pheasants at Mach 3 into a condemned building brimming with insane/suicidal livestock.

Most useless game periphery
Runner up: Wii Bowling Ball
 
A masterpiece in spherical and plastics engineering, giving the player a unique opportunity to both appear like an idiot and increase your chance of smashing your lovely 52" flat-screen TV by one million percent.

 
An exceptional engineering feat, seamlessly combining a length of flimsy plastic with a piece of string and sleek holder for your Wii nunchuks that will attract everyone of the female persuasion in your neighborhood. I'm not sure what it is, but women love a man who plays SEGA Bass Fishing in all of its anatomically correct glory.
 

Comments
blog comments powered by Disqus
Top Articles this Month
Game of the Year Awards 2014
Highlighting the best games from the year gone by
Posted 22 days ago
Assassin's Creed: Rogue Review
Posted 30 days ago
Xeodrifter Review
Posted 31 days ago
D4 Review
Posted 9 days ago
Rollers of the Realm Review
Posted 17 days ago
Crystal Catacombs Review
Posted 4 days ago
Latest Comments
COD: Advanced Warfare Havoc DLC released
Jan 29, 2015 by jonathan
really liking the new zombie mode!
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered now...
Jan 29, 2015 by JamesJay
Oh cool totally buying this
Xbox App coming to Windows 10
Jan 21, 2015 by Alex
Streaming is from your own Xbox One, in your house......
Xbox App coming to Windows 10
Jan 21, 2015 by nutcrackr
Did they mention region availability for this...
Xbox App coming to Windows 10
Jan 21, 2015 by JamesJay
Well, this really tops PS4/PSVita combo for...
Advertisement ▼
New Game Network NGN Facebook NGN Twitter NGN Youtube NGN RSS