Lights, Camera, Press Start
To film or not to film, the challenges of adapting games to the big screen
Act 2
Throw boobs at it
This has been an epoch for a lot of game>movies, most notably Dead or Alive. Throw hot, scantily clad women and success will surely follow. In all honestly this was the truest element to the game as all women in it had such overly inflated mammaries that they all surely required back braces. I’m surprised the game was so responsive. Surely all the consoles CPU power was directed to the physics engine that powered their insane jiggling at the slightest move. It is proven that guys will go and see hot young things on the silver screen, look at Megan Fox or in my case Jessica Alba. If Hollywood produced a movie where she stood in a bikini for an hour and half periodically doused with water and shaken dry I’d watch it. It doesn’t make for the most compelling narrative and it’s just plain lazy.
Bland commercialism
By this I mean Hollywood tricks like Americanising characters ala Dragonball. Even though this was an anime first it also had game tie-ins but the principal is the same. They recruited an American cast and took out all of the epic charging moves. It was a series that should have either been taken under a Japanese studio or left untouched. Also, have a gander at the new Tekken movie, Jin looks like a kid who would look more at home taking angled pictures on a social networking site than in an iron fist tournament. They also throw in the ‘love interest’ to generate some depth to the character but I’ll reserve judgment until I see the thing. I owe Tekken that much.
Get a director that couldn’t direct a man to hit water if he pushed him off a boat
Case in point: Uwe Boll. I look at him like a pet that has brought you a dead bird, its hearts in the right place and you want to pick it up and shake its little head till a spark of sense gets through. It doesn’t understand no matter how much you scold it. All you can do is look into its eyes, shake your head and accept it with a defeated smile. You could argue that even though his films are bad at least he’s doing them, right? If by the third movie you haven’t got it right then I’d call it a day. It’s like me continually running into a brick wall in the hope I’ll knock it down. I won’t, rock beats skull every time. A bad director can turn a great concept or script into something more akin to a fanboy’s trailer filmed on his Iphone.
Share:
Comments
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Mar 5, 2010 07:13:40 (Mar 5, 2010 07:13)
